Dec. 27, 2021

EP141 - It's Judgements That Upset Us

EP141 - It's Judgements That Upset Us

Good day, my friend. Welcome to A Moment with Moj. Thank you so much for downloading the show. I am so happy to be here with you today. Hope you had a great weekend, full of lots of love and family, whether you celebrated or not, doesn't matter to me, I still hope you had a great weekend. Monday, you know that means Epictetus is in the house and Epictetus tells us, "It isn't the events themselves that disturb people, but only their judgments about them."

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/MojoKemp 

https://www.amomentwithmoj.com/ 

Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:15.400 Good Day, my friend welcome to a moment with Moge. Thank you so much for 2 00:00:15.420 --> 00:00:20.120 downloading show. I am so happy to be here with you today 3 00:00:21.480 --> 00:00:29.000 hope you had a great weekend full of lots of love and family, where the 4 00:00:29.220 --> 00:00:35.140 celebrated or not doesn't matter to me. I still hope you had a great weekend 5 00:00:36.680 --> 00:00:40.920 Monday. You know that means epic tetus is in the House, 6 00:00:42.240 --> 00:00:48.180 and epictetus tells us it isn't the events themselves that disturb people, 7 00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:51.860 but only their judgments about them. 8 00:00:53.080 --> 00:00:56.060 This is one of the key tenants 9 00:00:57.260 --> 00:01:02.380 of stoicism and epictetus goes on to say 10 00:01:03.560 --> 00:01:08.200 so when we're frustrated, angry or unhappy, 11 00:01:09.600 --> 00:01:16.280 never hold any one except ourselves. That is our judgments accountable. 12 00:01:17.960 --> 00:01:19.180 We've talked about this before 13 00:01:20.760 --> 00:01:23.480 we can't choose the things that happen to us, 14 00:01:24.980 --> 00:01:26.520 but we can choose 15 00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:34.380 how we respond to the things that happen to us. If we think something 16 00:01:34.440 --> 00:01:36.140 really bad has happened, 17 00:01:37.220 --> 00:01:43.220 then we tend to get angry or upset when we remember it and were unable 18 00:01:44.540 --> 00:01:50.060 to learn the lesson from that event, because our other emotions are in the 19 00:01:50.140 --> 00:01:50.260 way 20 00:01:51.900 --> 00:01:52.960 were unable to 21 00:01:54.040 --> 00:02:01.740 take a view from above or were unable to reframe the event to see it as a 22 00:02:02.040 --> 00:02:07.740 teaching moment. If we think something bad is going to happen to us 23 00:02:08.820 --> 00:02:14.460 that can affect US negatively by making us bread filling us with fear which 24 00:02:15.300 --> 00:02:20.880 amplifies the power of our old friend the resistance, and these things become 25 00:02:20.980 --> 00:02:25.360 self fulfilling prophecies. You think something bad's going to happen. You 26 00:02:25.440 --> 00:02:29.580 focus on something bad happening, and so we can't be surprised 27 00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:36.020 when something bad happens, but my friend think about a time where you 28 00:02:36.120 --> 00:02:42.480 misjudge ta situation. Maybe you got angry or maybe you were frustrated with 29 00:02:42.560 --> 00:02:47.280 somebody? Maybe you acted on it? Maybe you didn't bet bleater 30 00:02:48.680 --> 00:02:53.460 when you thought about it a little bit for maybe you found out a little more 31 00:02:53.560 --> 00:02:58.840 information. It changed the way you thought about the situation. You felt 32 00:02:58.980 --> 00:03:03.620 differently about it. Maybe maybe you had to apologize for stopping off at 33 00:03:03.640 --> 00:03:08.720 somebody or maybe you didn't, but you were sure glad you didn't, because you 34 00:03:08.760 --> 00:03:11.300 turned out to be wrong. We've all had 35 00:03:12.680 --> 00:03:18.720 moments like this, so we know that the meanings of situations and events can 36 00:03:18.820 --> 00:03:24.960 change. We know the meanings and situations of events are how we judge 37 00:03:25.020 --> 00:03:30.160 them. It's hard to remember this. In the heat of the moment, it's easy to be 38 00:03:30.300 --> 00:03:34.520 philosophical, while I'm sitting here behind this microphone, it's much 39 00:03:34.640 --> 00:03:40.500 harder to do. Of course, when life is kicking you in the ASS, when you're 40 00:03:40.540 --> 00:03:46.300 already done- and I also realize that give advice of just change- your 41 00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:47.420 thinking about it- 42 00:03:48.640 --> 00:03:57.480 can seem a little Glib when people are based with so much serious challenges 43 00:03:57.560 --> 00:04:02.440 in their lives. I remember one day when I was in Chemo. 44 00:04:03.560 --> 00:04:07.900 This is the time of the year when I first got diagnosed. In fact it was. It 45 00:04:07.960 --> 00:04:08.860 was on this day 46 00:04:10.260 --> 00:04:12.680 four years ago, when the 47 00:04:13.820 --> 00:04:18.640 IRANIS so specialist sick. I know what I'm looking at, but you better wait for 48 00:04:18.760 --> 00:04:22.580 the oncologist to tell you what it is. It's on my mind recently, 49 00:04:23.720 --> 00:04:29.660 but I was sitting there in chemo feeling pretty bad about it, feeling 50 00:04:29.700 --> 00:04:35.980 pretty shitty for myself, and then I realized that the cancer that I had a 51 00:04:36.440 --> 00:04:42.500 very high successor, very, very high survival rate up in the ninety percent, 52 00:04:43.060 --> 00:04:45.500 and it made me realize that 53 00:04:46.540 --> 00:04:50.880 probably ninety per cent of the people in that building wished they could 54 00:04:50.980 --> 00:04:56.560 change spots or wished, maybe not wish they could change spots but wished they 55 00:04:56.600 --> 00:05:01.240 were me wish they were in my situation. So it's not 56 00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:08.140 just glib advice, no matter what you're going through my friend, I know this 57 00:05:08.880 --> 00:05:14.420 things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out. 58 00:05:15.440 --> 00:05:19.580 Just do your best. My friend do your best and that's good enough 59 00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:21.940 carpet momentum. 60 00:05:23.580 --> 00:05:24.740 I'll talk to you to morrow. 61 00:05:38.140 --> 00:05:38.160 I