Jan. 31, 2022

EP161 - Never Depend on the Admiration of Others

EP161 - Never Depend on the Admiration of Others

Good day, my friend. Welcome to A Moment with Moj. Thank you so much for downloading the show. I'm so happy to be with you today, I hope that you had a great weekend. Monday, Epictetus is back on the show and Epictetus tells us, "Never depend on the admiration of others, there is no strength in it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source. It is not to be found in your personal associations, nor can it be found in the regard of other people."

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Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:08.269 --> 00:00:14.910 Good Day, my friend. Welcome to a moment with modes. Thank you 2 00:00:15.150 --> 00:00:21.230 so much for downloading the show. I'm so happy to be with you today. 3 00:00:21.660 --> 00:00:29.820 I hope that you had a great weekend. Monday, epictitis is back 4 00:00:29.980 --> 00:00:37.770 on the show, and epictitis tells us never depend on the admiration of others. 5 00:00:38.450 --> 00:00:43.689 There is no strength in it. Personal Merit cannot be derived from an 6 00:00:43.810 --> 00:00:49.890 external source. It is not to be found in your personal associations, nor 7 00:00:50.079 --> 00:00:57.759 can it be found in the regard of other people. It's not easy to 8 00:00:57.960 --> 00:01:06.109 stop caring about what people think about us. We're social, communal animals and 9 00:01:06.310 --> 00:01:12.709 to be part of a larger group ensured a certain amount of safety. When 10 00:01:12.750 --> 00:01:17.870 you were out hunting in the woods and you came upon on a t rex, 11 00:01:18.510 --> 00:01:23.099 it was much safer to be a part of a tribe than to be 12 00:01:23.260 --> 00:01:29.700 alone. We needed that group, we needed those people around us to be 13 00:01:29.780 --> 00:01:34.930 able to survive the elements. And, of course, caring about what other 14 00:01:34.049 --> 00:01:41.769 people thought about you mattered a little bit more when your life depended on being 15 00:01:41.969 --> 00:01:47.090 part of the group. Now, in our modern society, then, need 16 00:01:47.319 --> 00:01:55.560 for others approval has gone way too far. Look at politicians today, look 17 00:01:55.640 --> 00:02:00.549 at people, and you don't have to go very far to see people whose 18 00:02:00.670 --> 00:02:08.990 whole focus is on gaining the admiration and approval of others, especially with the 19 00:02:09.189 --> 00:02:16.300 advent of social media, which, when you look at it, can hardly 20 00:02:16.340 --> 00:02:23.259 be called social. If other people's attention and flattery can make us feel good, 21 00:02:24.219 --> 00:02:30.090 it's then also has the power to make us feel bad when we don't 22 00:02:30.250 --> 00:02:37.009 get that attention and flattery. It keeps us more focused on what we think 23 00:02:37.409 --> 00:02:43.729 others want and not on what we want. It can make us do things 24 00:02:44.210 --> 00:02:50.840 that we normally wouldn't do and, to a lesser degree, it can stop 25 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:59.110 you from speaking your truth in the name of keeping peace. My wife and 26 00:02:59.189 --> 00:03:08.110 I recently went through this with friends of ours who are extreme anti vaxers, 27 00:03:09.389 --> 00:03:16.340 and we try not to let political views get in the way of friendships, 28 00:03:16.460 --> 00:03:23.419 but at some point you just have to realize that we have no common ground 29 00:03:23.419 --> 00:03:31.930 anymore because we would purposely not talk about things to avoid triggering our former friends. 30 00:03:31.969 --> 00:03:42.000 It's okay to be happy about someone's approval. If I throw myself into 31 00:03:43.199 --> 00:03:49.520 my guitar practice and Chris Approves and it's happy with my results, I can 32 00:03:49.639 --> 00:03:57.069 take pride in that. If I'm practicing for my sake, for my desire 33 00:03:57.270 --> 00:04:02.710 to get better, and not for the sake of seeking his approval. Remember, 34 00:04:03.629 --> 00:04:10.620 we can't control the opinions of others, and to focus on what we 35 00:04:10.740 --> 00:04:18.980 can't control takes power away from what we can control. Focus on what you 36 00:04:19.060 --> 00:04:26.290 can control, getting better at what you want to do, working on your 37 00:04:26.529 --> 00:04:34.329 craft and be you. Worrying about what other people think about you is like 38 00:04:34.610 --> 00:04:44.399 believing humans once fought dinosaurs, especially when everyone knows we were on the same 39 00:04:44.439 --> 00:04:51.870 side as the dinosaurs against the aliens. Carpet momentum, my friend. I'll 40 00:04:51.949 --> 00:04:54.029 talk to you tomorrow.